Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Day 379

I started today with a pleasant walk, the humidity has dropped and it was actually cool instead of  our usual stiffeling heat.   We don't really get seasons here, our winter lasts maybe 2 wks, if we are fortunate.  Hot & Humid is pretty much our whole year.   So when we get our brief taste of fall, I have to eat it up fast, because it is gone in a blink.  It is so nice to be talking with the kids about Halloween costumes, even if it is still in the 90's, it gets me into the fall mood.

Fall weather also makes me want to get outside and walk, run , play.  It energizes me for some unknown reason. It makes fitness much more appealing.  I was in the grocery today and there on the shelves are all the packages of yummy Halloween Candy.  I have been working on a strategy for handling all that candy that will be around until Pumpkin day.  I hope to wait until the last possible day to buy the candy and pick out candy that I don't like.  How do you plan to handle the Halloween parties and treats?  I must plan ahead for these things.  Of course, on days like today, I wonder if all the planning in the world will help me with my food addiction.

I went to physical therapy today in preparation for my upcoming knee surgery.  Today he spent a few minutes showing me how to use crutches and how to navigate around objects and up and down steps.  I am getting very nervous now as we started talking about my rehab work.  After the surgery, I will lose the strenght in one of my quad muscles above my knee.  It is going to take alot of work to get that muscle back.  It will be painful and very unpleasant.  If I don't do it, I will not regain full use of my leg/knee.  I wonder how it will effect my weightloss?  I think my portion control will be even more important since I won't be able to do much physical training for a few months. 

It is only Noon and I have blown my healthy eating today.  Why do I still buy crap thinking I have willpower and self control?  I don't have willpower, that's why I had this dayum surgery.  Here is how it went;  I was in the grocery store and purposely sought out the ice cream section. I took out the pint of ice cream, even went so far as to read how many calories, (880 for the whole container) , I put it back and walked to the no sugar added selections.  Decided they did not look good to me, walked back to the pint and put it in my basket.  WTF??? What kind of self destruct behavior is that?  I KNEW I would eat the whole thing, I KNEW exactly how many calories/damage I was doing, I KNEW I had other ice cream alternatives that would be better and still I bought it.  Then to make matters worse, I ate it in my NO EATING ZONE,  (my desk).  How am I ever going to conquer my food addiction if I continue to buy foods knowing full well that they are going to blow my whole diet to hell?  What good does it do to identify bad habits, it I am going to break my own rules?  I am so mad at myself right now, I am banging the keyboard as I blog this.  I had breakfast, I wasn't hungry.  This was clearly a head issue, no fill can fix this type of problem.

Fitness ~ walked 3 miles in the a.m, walked 3.1 in the evening
Healthy eating ~ Breakfast- inst grits, 1tsp smart balance spread, 1 egg, 1 egg white. Lunch - potato salad and one entire pint of bananas foster ice cream, Supper - 3 oz roast beef, 2 tsp corn, 2 Tbs rice...
Water ~ Good

Update:  Since I cannot change the fact that I did not follow my healthy eating plan today like I should have, I decided the best thing to do would be a TWO-FER, I went on a 2nd walk this evening with my Hubby, walked for an hour.  Blogging my poor choices definitely has helped me to become more alert & also take action to minimize its effects.

2 comments:

  1. Dee, you are still being too hard on yourself! You did not blow your whole diet because...you still had fewer than 1400 or so calories! The positive way to look at it would be, I wanted the damn ice cream. I ate it. I made up for it by eating very little at dinner and taking another walk. I will remember this next time I want the whole pint. End of story.

    You have been incredibly successful. Its just one day. You are a success!

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  2. Don't be so hard on yourself. You can always make up for it by going for another walk. And always remember that tomorrow is a new day!

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Words of Encouragement