Monday, February 1, 2010

Familiar places

I find myself in a much too familiar spot in my road to be Healthy. I have lost 30,40 even 50 lbs over and over during my failed diet attempts of the past and gained it all back along with extra. Today I am at the point where throwing my hands up and regaining usually begins. After a week of eating healthy and working out, my scales has not budged an ounce. Now I realize that we will always hit plateaus in our journey, but come on! I just got over one that lasted a month! I looked over my journal yesterday and felt really good about my eating and my exercise.

Yesterday, my disappointment at the scale sent me into an all too familiar slippery slope of eating. I ate like 5 mini almond joys. I have not eaten chocolate since before my banding and I am surprised at just how easy it can be to regain weight with the band. I am fighting with everything i have inside me to get hold of myself and move on. I would like to say the band will not let me overeat, that is simply not true. It may not let me eat the volume that I could before, but it damn sure won't stop me from eating the comfort food I want so badly right now. Maybe 30 lbs is just all I am capable of losing, maybe 180 is the weight I am supposed to live my life at.

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