Sunday, October 18, 2009

Taking the Band on Vacation

So far vacationing with my new lap band has not been too difficult. I am still feeling some restriction, that became quite obvious at the airport when I tried to eat too much and became full after only a few bites. I brought some protein bars along with me and that has helped a great deal. We are staying in Portland, Maine at a quaint bed and breakfast tonight. I ate steamed lobster and clams tonight, so I got plenty protein. It was delicious. I even got in some great exercise today hiking in the mountains of New Hampshire. The only problem I experienced so far with my band is some tightening in my chest area after sitting so long in the airport and on the plane. It really hurt last night but seems to be getting better today.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

flying high

Today, Hubby and I start our 3-wk vacation that we have saved a very long time to do. Already there are airport problems. Besides the fact that I HATE to fly, we will have a 5 hour layover because they cancelled our original connecting flight due to insufficient passengers.

So what does a person do with a 5 hour layover at an airport? Prebanded days, I would use the opportunity to fill up on junk food. I hope I can change this habit, I have brought along some protein bars in my bag, I hope that will keep those munchies at bay. If not, I will at least try to make better choices. Tomorrow I will be in Vermont.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

4 Wks & 20 lbs GONE

Today I reached four weeks since being banded. I decided to list the changes that I have made in my new Healthy lifestyle.

1. My clothes are baggy. I could be a smaller size, but I don't want to invest in new clothes just yet.

2. I have more energy and even have a little bounce in my step.

3. I am eating healthier.

4. I have more confidence in myself and I have no doubt that I can reach my next goal.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Preparation and Planning

Yesterday I had the most challenging day I have had since being banded. I attended a birthday party 90 minutes from home for my granddaughter. It was held at one of those children party centers and I failed horribly. In my pre-banded days, I would have let it turn into a reason to give up all together and gain back all the 20 lbs I lost and more.

Instead, I am going to try to live and learn, pick myself up and work through the hurdle. I started out doing well, I had a healthy breakfast. I was told there was a little concession stand so I figured I could find something, even if it was just a hamburger patty or salad. WRONG! Only food there were hot dogs, nachos, white bread sandwiches loaded with mayo. I did buy some water and tried sipping it all day. We left home at 10am and now it's 2pm and I'm starving. Finally all my willpower died and ate 8 *1/4* finger sandwiches, which in itself wouldn't have been entirely bad, but of course I let myself have a piece of birthday cake, granted it was a smaller piece than I normally would have taken. I did no exercises yesterday either.

I beat myself up about overeating the entire 90 minute drive home, refused to eat dinner, took a xanax and went to sleep. I was miserable.

How the hell am I going to make it through 3 wks of vacationing if I cannot control myself at a one day outing? I am trying to learn from it and be better prepared the next time. Maybe pack a protein shake and some veggies in a small lunch bag. Next time I go to a child's birthday party, I will go with the assumption there will be no healthy foods and bring my own!

Today is another day and I have determined NOT to let yesterday send me into a eating binge.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

garage sale

Yesterday, I decided to have a garage sale to get rid of all those clothes that no longer fit. I refuse to keep them, I am NOT going back to that weight again. I spent the last few days cleaning all the closets in my house to add items to sell. Before the day was over, I would actually have to remind myself to eat, that is quite a difference for me. My weightloss seems to have stalled the last couple of days with only 1/2 pound before my first goal. I have 6 more days before I leave on my 3 wk vacation and I am determined to reach my goal before then. Even if it means more protein shakes lol

Monday, October 5, 2009


New Orleans is well known for rain that appears without warning. It has been raining here for two solid days. Sunday, I spent the day cleaning between watching football games. Football is difficult for me because prior to my banding, it would include junk food, beer and sweets. I didn't do badly at all. I avoided the beer and talked my husband into grilling before the game. Today it is raining again, my husband and I elected to drive to the gym to use the treadmill for our morning walk. I was very pleased with myself for two reasons. 1. normally the rain would have given me an excuse to bail on exercise and 2. I even added some light jogging on the treadmill. Looks like the rain did not derail my journey along my new healthier lifestyle.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Mr. Scale

I have been on enough diet programs in my lifetime to know that weighing every single day, is NOT a good idea. The ups and downs can wreak havoc with our emotions. When I know that I did not make good choices or bailed on my exercise, I hide from Mr. Scale. He becomes nothing more than a dust magnet. When I have been a good girl, I run for Mr. Scale every morning when I wake-up, sometimes several times a day. Weight Watchers and most other programs stress the importance of only weighing once a week, to avoid those tiny bumps that occur during the week. To be honest deep inside my brain, I agree. But that is not stopping me from jumping on Mr. Scale every morning since being banded. When Mr.Scale is nice to me that morning, I fly through my day like I won the lottery. On the other hand, when that evil Mr. Scale goes in the wrong direction, I drag around like I lost my best friend.

Why do I do this to myself? I think that I still hope my band will be the magic wand that will change me overnight, even though I know better. Whatever the reason, I need to find a way to become friends with Mr. Scale, so that he can guide me through my new healthy lifestyle instead of being a roadblock.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Our own voices

Since the day I started my two week Pre-Op diet, I have gone 100% into my usual diet mode. All of my fellow banders are very familiar with my "diet mode". All of them started and ended the same for me. I pick the diet of the month/year and I buy all the allowed foods and then I start dieting & exercising. The first few days I lose my "water weight" and it doesn't take very long before that little fat voice in my head starts rationalizing cheating. "One piece of that chocolate cake at some one's birthday party will probably not show. I tell them to just give me very small piece." Then I start convincing myself that it isn't good for our bodies to exercise EVERY DAY, after all we have to give our MUSCLES time to heal. So I don't go to the gym or walk that day. Sometimes I have lost over 35 pounds before the little voice starts, and sometimes I will barely make through the first week (depending on the diet).

Up to today, my excitement at seeing my weight loss on the scale has kept that old voice at bay. Today, I am fighting that voice. I have walked every single morning since my first day of pre-Op diet, with the exception of the day before/after my surgery, and today? I let that little voice tell me I deserved a day off. No, I wasn't tired, my port or incisions were not hurting, I wasn't so busy that I didn't have time, I just DID NOT go. I'm scared! What if all this success that I have experienced is just the same ole same? I have struggled with my own inside voice all day to stay on my healthy eating. I have experienced hunger so much today, not real hunger, Brain hunger! Today, water is not working. Exercise is not working. The protein shakes are not working. I am going along on my own steam without any restriction until my first fill November 2nd and I am petrified that I will not be strong enough to make it that long!